17
Jan
12

Cut past the bullshit you tell and see it like it is.

By Akemi Leave a Comment
Categories: Personal
Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

There are a lot of things that I don’t agree with that are part of the human race. Religion, bigotry, close-mindedness, racism, ignorance, and the like. But I believe that being human comes with a certain finness. Something that separates us from the animals is being able to control our impulses. Though most of the time we can’t control our thoughts or our emotions, we can control how we react to them. We can choose our actions even if we can’t choose our thought process. We can try to become better people by actively reinforcing it with our positive actions.

Countless times I’ve heard people say to mind their own business or they reflect on how other people don’t pay enough attention to their own lives than the lives of others. Or even how they’re going to live life the way they want to and other people should stop judging them. In my opinion, people just say those things to validate the bad choices they’ve made. If you don’t want people to judge what you’re doing, then don’t give them anything to judge. Don’t cheat, don’t steal, don’t do something that may be frowned upon.

Now, don’t get me wrong. I’m not an angel and I’ve been guilty for telling people to shove it and mind their own business more than a few times. But I also try to live my life with integrity. I try to make the best choice not only for myself but for the people around me.

I don’t cheat, I try not to lie, I’m a relatively honest person, and I do my best to not lead people on or hurt them – especially if I’m friends with them.

There’s a reason that the paparazzi pay attention to celebrities. There’s a reason that people judge them and take pictures of them and follow their every move.

Yes, life is messy and people are going to get hurt. But that doesn’t mean that you should make that decision that’s going to hurt someone if it can be avoided. Colateral damage happens. But how many people are you willing to sacrifice for your own happiness? How many people are you willing to hurt so that you can take a chance at something?

Being a human being is not about impulse, it’s about the choices that make. Because that is what ultimately defines who you are. Are you the person that will push someone down to get ahead? Or are you the person who will help pick them up?

It’s your choice who you want to be. Choose wisely.

 

23
Jul
11

A partially ignorant view on the possible government default

By Akemi Leave a Comment
Categories: Advocations, Observations and Personal
Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

To start off, I will be the first to admit that I don’t know a whole heck of a lot about politics. To be completely honest the system in America frustrates me enough not want to care most of the time. However, when politics escalates in congress, the White House, legislation, anything that is big enough to effect me and to flood news networks with articles about government defaulting, I’m American enough to pay attention. Since I’ve stated my partial-ignorance concerning politics, you may take this post as seriously as you want to.

I don’t know how many people are paying attention to the current outpour of government defaulting news that is currently streaming the internet and news networks, but apparently its beginning to get serious with John Boehner walking out (and even ignoring) President Obama’s attempts at compromise.

Whether you know about the possibility of government default or not, you more than likely already have an opinion about Obama. Given your positive or negative feelings toward our current president, you can’t deny his genuine nature. He truly cares about this country and every single person in it from the rich to the poor. People can tell that he honestly wants to fix the government in order for us to become that great nation – the ultimate superpower – that we have always claimed to be.

Now that we’ve reviewed our feelings about Mr. President, I would also like to point out that he isn’t perfect and that NO ONE IS. With that said, I would like to pan to Boehner. Since I have attended and graduated high school, I am pretty well apt at distinguishing those mature adults who are able to diffuse and compromise on a situation in order to come to a reasonable solution from those ignorant, childish people who only have a vision for themselves and their future. I feel pretty well backed to pose that Boehner is one of those ignorant people. I would even go as far as to say that the Republicans (and even the Democrats, if they exist) who are backing him are part of that childish problem of being unable to compromise. While Obama has put a ridiculously generous offer on the table, all he really asked for was tax increases.

I know that many of you are gasping in your seat right now thinking, TAX INCREASES?! Well, yes, slightly. Now I don’t want to delve into it for fear that I would misconstrue or misinterpret what was actually going on, so I will put this link here to one of the articles I was reading. From my interpretation of the articles I read, Obama was calling for a tax system overhaul to get rid of the absurd tax breaks given to the rich under the Bush administration.

Now. That’s not too ridiculous is it?

Being the dick that Boehner is (sorry, I’m a bit upset right now), he decided to walk away, and according to the article, refused to take Obama’s calls on Thursday night.

Now, if I could shout this directly at Boehner, I would love to. Seeing as I don’t have that power, here goes: Not compromising doesn’t make you a hero. It doesn’t show your courage or your backbone. You don’t have strength because you won’t back down. You’re not a strong person because you can’t see another point of view or because you are too afraid to switch to the other side (God forbid). Not compromising makes your stubborn and unfit to govern or to lead. Not being able to compromise depicts you as childish and incompetent to the public. You are not a leader, you are barely a follower. Your imitation of a leader is tiresome to the entire public as well as our government. Step down and let a real leader compromise. Let a real leader show that they can handle the situation. Let a real leader lead our government in the direction that it needs to go to become great. Because under your leadership we will all sink and drown.

Over the years I have come to realize that what our government was based on is slowly losing its steam. A government of the people, by the people, and for the people is slowly becoming non-existant as our government becomes less afraid of the people while the people become more afraid of the government. Our elected leaders need to realize that they are there to represent THE PEOPLE, not themselves and their own agendas. Our government needs to realize that the people have the power. We need to take control and take away the power from those officials that we deem unworthy and unfit to represent our interests. They need to know that we are in control, that we are the power, and that we will not tolerate incompetence and selfishness any longer!

Here are a few articles that got me riled up enough to write this:

Obama furious as Boehner walks away from debt talks

WRAPUP 1-Obama seeks to salvage U.S. debt ceiling deal

The Party That Can’t Say Yes (opinion)

06
Jun
10

Heartbroken and Looking for an Escape

By Akemi 3 Comments
Categories: Personal

June 6: A few months ago I was going to write a rescind to a previous post I had written about the nature of relationships. My intent with the draft was to reexamine relationships from a different point of view, to show that while, there can be negative effects and unfortunate results, the overall intent is sincere in most cases. While I still stand by my original statements, I have a different perspective to look through.

My recent adventures this week have been a little less than awesome. Being betrayed by the people you most trust is a hard things to work through. A best friend, a boyfriend, and another close friend are the people you would least expect to push you to tears, but worst of all is to not even see it coming. Heartbreak isn’t a common occurrence for me and neither is surprise but here I am, with a wound so substantial and exposed, right now it feels like it will never heal. One hit after another is a tough thing to take from the people closest to you. A lot of you already know that pain and, unfortunately, many of you will find out. From the deepest part of my heart, I’m sorry.

No one but this boy have I ever let so far into my life, into my being, that I trusted him so implicitly.
No one have I ever felt closer to.
No other relationship have I ever intended to try so hard at.
And no one else have I ever seen myself with for more than my attention span would allow.

Being without you is the hardest thing I’ve had to do in a really long time and it hurts every time a thought of you crosses my mind. Everything reminds me of you and everything hurts because you’re not there to make it ok. You were the only one who could stop my neurotic brain from thinking about anything. I’m so sick of crying over your absence and I’m desperate for any kind of escape. I miss you and for once, for you, I can admit that.

Right now, writing seems like my only outlet for an escape since crying only makes the physical pain more pronounced.

Status: heartbroken and looking for an escape.

Edit: I kept this private when I first wrote it. Everything hurt too bad to admit or rather, to reveal to the general public, but reading this almost two months later, I’m surprised at how calm I sound and how resolved. I seem a bit hopeless and lost, but I was. The point is that time heals all wounds or else buries them deep and gives you fears, delusions, and complexes. :) Anyway I’m revealing this to the public. Enjoy.

01
Mar
10

Matsuri Festival 2010

By Akemi 2 Comments
Categories: Advocations and Observations
Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

For anyone that doesn’t know, the Matsuri Festival is a celebration of Japanese culture. It happens every year in February at the Heritage and Science Park in downtown Phoenix on 6th and Monroe right next to the Arizona Science Center.

Fuschido Daiko taiko performers

This year was the 26th year celebration of the Matsuri Festival in Phoenix. While beauty and tradition of old Japanese culture is the main focus of the event, the festival has blended to celebrate both the old and new age traditions of the Japanese American Diversity.

Matsuri attracts everyone, from young to old, traditional to modern, families and individuals gather to gape at the wonder that the festival has to offer. The festival is a two day event on Saturday and Sunday that goes from 10:30am to 5pm. A list and schedule of events is available online at the Arizona Matsuri web site. From taiko drumming, story telling, food and merchandise vendors to martial art demonstrations and modern japanese style bands, you can hardly be bored here.

Teenagers embracing Japanese anime

While I can see why Matsuri wouldn’t appeal to a great deal of people, I thoroughly enjoy going every year, whether it’s by myself, with friends, or my family. I’m half Japanese (Japanese American) and I didn’t grow up with a lot of Japanese culture around me, so Matsuri lets me experience the culture that I’ve lost throughout my childhood.

Matsuri shows the best parts of the Japanese culture, the beauty, the intrigue and the delicacy of its traditions. My favorite part is the taiko drumming put on mainly by Fuschido Daiko, a professional taiko dojo based in Phoenix.

Matsuri is a great opportunity for photographers to get some great pictures with everything going on at the festival

Their performances are so entrancing and entertaining that you can easily find them by the reverberation of the drums across the park or the crows of people clapping after a performance. It’s not hard to lose a couple hours watching their skilled performances. With drummers ranging from about 7 years old to over 50, it’s a very diverse group of performers who love their work. Fuschido Daiko also teaches classes for individuals, families, and kids.

Walking down the street at Matsuri every year, I can’t help but notice the diversity of people it attracts: collecting by a comic books stand are teenagers dressed as anime characters meeting with their friends and gossiping about outfits, characters, and life; waiting in line for a bento box is a family huddled together in the rain; photographers crouched down trying to get a good angle on a picture. The best part about Matsuri is that everyone can enjoy it. You don’t have to be Japanese to feel like you belong in the environment.

A couple of other things I love about Matsuri are the beautiful bonsai trees and bamboo that they sell and display, tea ceremonies that you can attend and learn about, the great food that most vendors cook on site, candy art, koi fish, and the akitas.

I really look forward to this festival every year and every year I come away with a new appreciation of Japanese culture, both the traditional and the modern aspects.

Visit http://www.flickr.com/photos/heysenseless/ for more photos :)

06
Feb
10

We All Do It – the multi-tasking bug

By Akemi Leave a Comment
Categories: Observations and Personal
Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Multitasking defined by the Merriam Webster Dictionary:

Main Entry: mul·ti·task·ing
Pronunciation: \-ˌtas-kiŋ\
Function: noun
Usage: often attributive
Date: 1966

1 : the concurrent performance of several jobs by a computer
2 : the performance of multiple tasks at one time

Now I don’t care who you are, we all multi-task (hell, I’m doing it now), but have we given any thought to what this is doing to our society or ourselves? Sure, I’ve heard that it’s bad for ADD or that it affects the quality of work you could be doing instead of the work we’re producing because we’re not focusing specifically on one thing. I, myself, have noticed a significant turn in my production of homework. It’s almost impossible for me to sit down for a straight hour and study something – to read, to take notes, to do anything without checking my phone, facebook, twitter or getting up to walk around and get something to eat. It leads to more procrastination, rushed work, and eventually forgotten homework – which happened on Wednesday, unfortunately. ha.

Now there are two types of multi-tasking. Ones that I’m very skilled at.

1. Doing multiples tasks at once i.e. homework, watching tv, listening to music, chatting, etc.
2. Taking on too much at one time i.e. school, work, projects, internship, etc.

I don’t know how I get anything done. EVAR. :)

The social trend is even noticeable. In Johns Hopkins Magazine, an article, “Multitasking State of Mind” by Joanne Cavanaugh Simpson reflects upon how students in college are becoming more detached from their education. Ruder, shorter emails are being sent to professors requesting an adjustment to grades and leniency.

Simpson takes an excerpt from Time, “I’m not the only one noticing. Time magazine, the American trend meter, ran a cover story in March titled ‘Are Kids Too Wired for Their Own Good?’ As the story notes, ‘media multitasking’ has hit warp speed in the past few years: ‘The mental habit of dividing one’s attention into many small slices has significant implications for the way young people learn, reason, socialize, do creative work, and understand the world.’ Apparently, the brain can ‘toggle’ quickly from one task to another. Many of these students are master togglers. As Time points out, ‘Decades of research (not to mention common sense) indicate that the quality of one’s output and depth of thought deteriorate as one tends to ever more tasks.’”

Technology is probably the biggest factor for my generation. Being raised with the internet and in the technological age with our rapidly advancing products puts us at the center of everything that’s now. Everything is accessible to us in an instant and while that’s a great value to us, it can also put us at a disadvantage. For instance, cheating and plagiarism are way easier than they used to be. Copy and paste has become synonymous words for plagiarism in a lot of professors minds.

Anyway, going back to topic, multitasking is literally affecting our brains by making it significantly harder to concentrate on one thing. It becomes habit to many people and they don’t see it as a negative quality. Focusing on one thing, even a conversation with another human being gets interrupted with a text message or drowned out by music or our surroundings.

I took this out of a paper I wrote a year ago about multitasking in college students, “Multi-tasking, if done too much for too long, can lead to depression, anxiety, lower grades, and the feeling of being overwhelmed. While people don’t typically associate multi-tasking with depression or anxiety, it’s a common result of being too overwhelmed by too many tasks. A general consensus is that if one is becoming moody or agitated, than it’s a sign that they are taking on too many responsibilities and that they need to slow down. Joan Quinn author of “Should You Multi-task?” states, ‘feeling crabby … could be a sign that this double duty is stressing you out’ (2). Having depression gives you a lack of concentration, irritability, sleep irregularity, and loss or gain of appetite. It can link to dropping grades because of laziness.”

It not only affects productivity, but your body as well. It disconnects you from your work as a whole and as a result from yourself and society.

I’m not saying to drop everything you’re doing to focus on one thing. By all means, take on all that you can. I’m just suggesting that you slow down and reflect on how you do things. Instead of talking on the phone with someone while working on a paper, maybe commit to one thing? The paper would turn out better and that friend you’re on the phone with might feel a little more appreciative that you’re actually focusing on the conversation.

From one multi-tasker to another, it might be worth a shot :)

05
Feb
10

Only listen to reason

By Akemi 5 Comments
Categories: Personal
Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

I’ve always had a problem with relationships – being in one, being around them, witnessing them – they just don’t seem like a good idea to me. The biggest reason is probably loss of individual identity. I don’t want to become part of another person, I don’t want to be dependent on another person, and I don’t want to have to rely on another person. I think enabling that leads to weakness and addiction.

It’s probably a negative way of thinking of it, but that’s what I don’t want to lose – my individual identity. I like relying on myself, I like to know that I am who I am because of me, not because of anyone else, and I like having the freedom to do anything and be anywhere I want whenever I want to.

Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy being in a relationship, I enjoy dating. I love experiencing the beginning of getting to know another human being, the butterflies that come with excitement, and learning who that person is. I love being lost in another person. There is no other feeling like it – I’ll agree. But I don’t believe that the sacrifice of individual self is worth it most of the time. Everything I’ve seen ends badly.

One example is a couple I’ve known for years and they just split up. They were almost entirely reliant on each other, were usually found with each other, and were a really good match – looking in from the outside. But the girl felt trapped in the relationship for a long time and couldn’t handle it anymore. They ignored everything for so long that it built up and they couldn’t or didn’t want to fix it.

Another, and the prime, example is one of my former best friends. He was the typical good guy – one that let girls walk all over him, ending up with a broken heart and resentment toward the female race. And every time this happened me and my friends would talk him out of it. That’s who we were – we were always there after every single broken heart, after every nasty phone call, and every bad experience. He starts to date this one girl and while they hit it off perfectly fine, everyone else is happy for them but skeptical. All of his time was spent with her, all of his devotion was focused on her, and all of his dignity was robbed by her. I have never once seen this girl legitimately happy. NEVER. While I saw man of her flaws immediately, no one else really did and had to come to them on their own times – which proves that it’s not all in my head. She’s more than two faced, but rather five-faced. She’s over dramatic about pretty much everything and is always, ALWAYS, playing the victim. She talks shit behind everyone’s back and thinks that the entire world is against her. While I don’t have any really big reasons to dislike her, its just a feeling that I get and can’t get rid of. She’s taken over my ‘friends’ life and shes got him on such a tight leash that he can’t step back and take a look to see what’s going on. Even if he does, she guilts him into staying. His entire identity is gone. His clothes are different, his attitude has changed, and even his habits. This girl has driven away all of his closets friends and many of his other ones. He gave up our ten year relationship and one of the best friendships he’s ever had for this burden and doesn’t realize what’s going on. He refuses to listen to reason, claiming that we’re attacking him, that we don’t like her and that’s why were doing this. “Well yes, ” I want to say, “that is a major part of the reason.” When you look at a situation and everyone is against you, you have to step back and re-examine the facts. It reminds me of a quote that my Communications professor quoted. It goes something like, if you run into one defensive person today I would say you ran into one defensive person today, if you ran into two defensive people today I would say you rain into two defensive people today, but if everyone you ran into was being defensive I would say to step back and look into a mirror. Or something to that effect. It basically means that if you keep running into the same problem, chances are that it’s not other people – its you. I just wish that he would look at our points of view instead of clinging to his warped view of what she wants him to see.

This kind of turned into a rant. But I had to get this out. After tonight, we’re officially no longer friends. I can only hope that it never happens to me – to be so blinded by another person that I can’t see my dignity in front of me.

Be who you are. Don’t be influenced by anything – not a partner, a friend, a co-worker, NO ONE. Feel out what you want. Only listen to reason. Reason is the only definite.

28
Jan
10

Do photos define you? A photographic look through reflective times

By Akemi 2 Comments
Categories: Observations and Personal
Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

I’m in a blogging/procrastinating mood tonight. New topic. Change. Specifically mine. I’m being self centered tonight. :)

When I was in high school, I was a very lost individual.

Like a lot of people in high school, I didn't know who I was or who I wanted to be.

So I liked to try on different personas, make up, anything to make me feel more beautiful, more complete, dangerous, anything to change or find out who I was.

I experimented with colors, faces, clothing, and anything else you could think of.

This is probably my favorite persona.

Washed out coloring was also a favorite of mine. I really started getting into photo editing, graphics, and photoshop with these ways of expressing myself.

I blame my hormonal teenage years on what I think of as artistic depression. I took a lot - and I mean A LOT - of depressing photographs like this one. Edited for dramatic effect and ridiculously embarassing when I look back at them.

Some photos were plain black and white, glasses only, no make up, probably when I was feeling lazy.

Other times i experimented with bright colors - which I love - and odd expressions.

I went through a lot of phases in high school trying to find what fit me best, I guess. I have to admit I like the grunge look a little.

I was consistently changing my look - even dying my hair purple once (I'm hiding that picture forever).

I started to relax a bit about who I was, realizing I was still young and had plenty of time to define myself.

I started to smile more in the random pictures that I took.

And started having more fun with all the pictures I took.

Peace signs are a favorite I've maintained for years :)

But while I'm still trying to find out who I am

While I still don't know where I belong.

The pictures that I take now

Are more out of boredom

and procrastination, and lack of sleep than anything else.

My pictures have become more about me and my friends

and the awesome times we have together more than anything else.

While I still have triggers of memory that turn into needs for expression

I don't feel a constant need for expression, mostly an outlet for boredom,

Because while others may judge and define who they think I am, I don't define myself anymore by what I wear or how I dress. I am undefinable. Because I am me. And I'm just trying to have fun.

28
Jan
10

So, let’s have it!

By Akemi 3 Comments
Categories: Observations and Personal
Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Bad luck gets worse as you get older.

Ok. Now I’ll qualify this statement.

Correct me if I’m wrong, but for a majority of people (in America), childhood was a relatively care-free time in our lives – compared to adulthood. It seems that the older I get (not that I’m very old) the worse my luck gets. Now, I know that’s on account of having more responsibilities, over dramatizing, cultural influences, and my own personal thinking, buuuut being an adult blows. Instead of losing a toy, I lose my wallet; instead of breaking a plate, I total a car; and instead of falling and scraping my knee, I get shot (this one hasn’t happened… yet). Being an adult puts your life in even more present danger than it already was. You’re exposed to elements that, as a child, you have no knowledge of and (hopefully) no contact with.

When you’re a child, one bad thing doesn’t turn into a bad day, two doesn’t even merit an hour of thought in your mind, but when you’re an adult a lot of the time, one bad thing will spark a domino effect of bad events, or seemingly bad events, that turn your entire day to shit.

Now the more that I think about it, the more I seem to realize that a lot of this has to do with our culture, our attitudes, and the way we handle things. Because not everybody lets their day be ruined by a broken plate or a stolen wallet, some people brush it off and make their day better. Man, I wish I were one of those people. I’m able to let a lot of things go, but when one thing after another keeps happening sometimes I have to be in a bad mood. I like being cheered up by co-workers or I like to decompress at the end of the day. Maybe I like to do something out of the ordinary or ‘bad’ in order to make myself feel better.

The thing is that I don’t really like being in a bad mood – its just my way of throwing my hands up at the world, waving the white flag, and saying, “I give up, you win today”.

Just the other day, I had my wallet stolen and I was in an openly hostile mood with all of the people that I worked with. I could tell that I was affecting everyone, I could tell that I shouldn’t be reacting like this, and I knew that I shouldn’t be taking it out on everyone, but I couldn’t help myself – it was just easier. I didn’t want to talk to anyone, but I didn’t want to be in a bad mood either. Thankfully, one of the guys I work with started cracking some jokes which cheered me up a bit. I underestimate the people in my life, best friends, acquaintances, and co-workers alike.

Anyway, got off topic a while ago and turned it into an appreciative rant :) haha go figure. But what are your thoughts? Do you have a remedy to get rid of bad days? Do you have someone in particular that can ALWAYS cheer you up? Or do you not agree with me at all? Lets have it.

24
Jan
10

Tattoos, tattoos, tattoos

By Akemi Leave a Comment
Categories: Personal
Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

In my literature class last semester, one of the units we studied was poetry. I’ve always loved poetry, but haven’t been able to learn much about it so I was genuinely excited when we started. We came across this poem written by Kim Addonizio titled “First Poem for You” and at this point in my life I thought it readily appropriate as well as somewhat of an inspiration for one of the next big decisions in my life.

“First Poem for You” by Kim Addonizio

I like to touch your tattoos in complete
darkness, when I can’t see them. I’m sure of
where they are, know by heart the neat
lines of lightning pulsing just above
your nipple, can find, as if by instinct, the blue
swirls of water on your shoulder where a serpent
twists, facing a dragon. When I pull you
to me, taking you until we’re spent
and quiet on the sheets, I love to kiss
the pictures in your skin. They’ll last until
you’re seared to ashes; whatever persists
or turns to pain between us, they will still
be there. Such permanence is terrifying.
So I touch them in the dark; but touch them, trying.

Such a beautiful poem on a subject thought disgusting by so many people. Such a voice in this poem, makes you feel the person’s desperation and wanting to be a permanent fixture in their partner’s life like the tattoo. The imagery of the tattoos is amazing. Addonizio gives the tattoos life with her descriptions.

My rough sketch. The cherry blossoms represent life. The first kanji symbol is happiness, the second means balance, and the third is learn

My friend, an amazing artist, Rishi M., did the sample coloring! :) I really like it though i think the branches/leaves/vines need to be either more discreet or more elegant.

Though mine will never be that intricate, the design for my next tattoo is coming along surprisingly well. My sketch isn’t complete and the coloring isn’t exactly right, but I’m hoping to get it sometime in february! :) 

If you have any thoughts on either picture, let me know. I’m definitely looking to make this a fabulous tattoo that I’m going to love forever! <3

I’m also thinking about getting it on my upper back. Possibly a shoulder or spine.

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